I rest but i won't quit.

June. I quit my almost 3 years full-timer job from the company.

It's a decision to keep my learning curve grows higher into another transition stage. I had minimum stamina to study what i interested to do after work. The most after-job stuff i can still exhausted in completing is speed painting for an hour or 2 hours for MAX. Even though, turn on the video tutorial and force myself finished the video doesn't bring affection and knowledge planted into my braincell.

Reason : There is no urgency for the knowledge for the current being. You study something due to it is useful knowledge but it is not a must-have knowledge at the moment. The more you try to squeeze-in the more you forgotten about it. It's a time wasting idiotic assignment. It leads nothing in the end. A knowledge learnt must be take into Action to understand its power. An interesting project will make me the neccessary in watching more video tutorial for one motive behind these time consuming stages.

Low-morale or self-doubt? It doesn't means a thing cause all these questions lead to the same answer everytimes after a moment of Pauseability. -- I feel better in doing stuff that acknowledge me the idea in life creation. Doesn't care is by doing 2D or 3D stuff. But due to time constraint and speedy up the idea out of my vision. Drawing is the best tool to sketch out stuff before it fade away or even worse lazy to jot down as memory notes. It's the efficiency and low-cost production tool ever. Never worry bout getting a cutting edge to speed up rendering or multi-processing workloads to fasten up the product. Ideas came and flow quickly than you can eventually complete at once in a 3d working environment.

Every single things will connected each others for one strong reason when its the moment it arrive for such meaningful intention. So, leave it now. Things will come back as welcome & pleasure when you needed it someday. Forcible will just grows hatred and annoyed.


Always stick to the progress that comfort our delivering ideas & concepts is what the artist keep moving on and focusing at the meaning in doing Art.

3D is a great tool for one in a production teamwork. A great experience in improving the importance of lighting setup & details for audience recognition of the subjects or any single objects. The major lesson i learnt in texturing. Details is the key to clearly present an object.

My painting always got the flaw in complete as a silhouette instead of a understandable object. A little decent details is what it lack of, a necessary one.

More stuff to carry on these days instead of just plainly improving skills in painting.

Business study, life assurance, motivational, financial in-grown... Money Money is the rolling gear to keep everything move forward without depressive.

Anyway, it's a journey must step on once a while we had been landing at the same spot for such a long while. Life should be constantly welcome a new challenge else it's a lifeless robot with the repetitive feeding braincell... Comfort zone is the worst enemies to the human being.

Planning for own career is a brave act and most people not going to do it. It shows weakness from yourself and it attracts criticsm & tease from the surrounding. Not many could success in pursue their dream. Life is not all bout the final point of successful sometimes. You don't get success doesn't mean it's a failure in a total loss.

Consider it as part of the journey on a rainbow bridge to the end of your life. You wouldn't want to step on a black/white bridge to get into the end of the bridge, right?!

Now, i gotta survive and live for my own. Mentality grows efficiency in this way instead of someone showing me the lesson of life in their absolutely Right perceptions. Learn it your own way and make changes to see the glimpse of light in further and feel the shine on you. Stay there and dwells back what were left behind just sorrow and unfortunate stories. Happy memories stay and live only partly but the portion are the one which make oneself appreciate the Life is not a sour at all.

It's another life for one to each other.

Step on.

and just take a break whenever the clock needle tickling at the same position for too long.
Even the clock battery will gone in one day that you wouldn't expect.

Recharge & resurrection from the checkpoint!

I Rest but I won't quit.






Black Blood, 1hour++ PSD.


p/s: Watched Eden Lake again yesterday, the impact and anxious in this movie never ceased to impress me. Black Blood means Hell is around the corner..