Success comes from failures.

First piece was another improved version from the bottom piece in 2nd day. The Right piece was done in an hour. 2nd day is to see what can i improve from what i had done for the first time. Less than an hour.



Sometimes it's a challenge in mentality to see how far an art can involved. Gotta chew on the word, nothing done in first few strokes or sketches. The longer devotion can get more surprises in the later.

Tonal Painting and Light painting..
Will do more experiment and practicing on this area.



This sketch done to find out a comfortability method to draw my very first comic after so many years. Reading comic is easier. To create gonna squeeze me alot of knowledge and effort to get it done. Anyway, it's a feel cool journey. It's gonna built a pavement for my future project too.
Busy brainchild... Busy.... and discipline seems fading easily.


I found out myself getting inspiration easier when i lie on my bed to sleep. So, some story plots had been draft out between 3am until 6 something in the morning. Silence keeps my brain imagine sweet material that i will keep polishing on.

Eventually, drafted out two stories before fell into deep sleep.

Some stories and experienced i studied from great persons during this few days.
Welcome the failures into our life to learn for a success.
Every success comes from failures.
Make friends with failures.
Lately came across this philosophy from two inspired artist that i know of.
Marc Forster the Director from Finding Neverland is one who like to challenge different movie style. He treats failure as a positive gear to push him into a higher ground to create his movie.
Sometimes don't plan for everything and leave 20% for it happend naturally.
World is always an unpredictable cynical place to live in.

He personally love "Stay" movie somehow it get a weak blockbuster. Sometimes the more we invest into one thing and fully dedication to wish it will get the healthy respond it should be will cause our ego take over in learning the failures chances.

Another artist is Steve Jobs. Read his Famous Stamford speech from Sinchew paper again this week. He was resigned from his CEO in Apple Company. A Man Who pursuit Perfection in his dream without obstacles.

Stay hungry Stay Foolish. Anything we learn today & yesterday, will be connected like dots in creating our dream. Nothing will be wasteful as we keep forwarding to the path that we believe in.

Two different mentality in getting their job's done. Whatever it is. Both success born from failures and keep trying.

Lastly, Inspiration flashing when we are working on it. Don't wait for inspiration to make us working.

I rest but i won't quit.

June. I quit my almost 3 years full-timer job from the company.

It's a decision to keep my learning curve grows higher into another transition stage. I had minimum stamina to study what i interested to do after work. The most after-job stuff i can still exhausted in completing is speed painting for an hour or 2 hours for MAX. Even though, turn on the video tutorial and force myself finished the video doesn't bring affection and knowledge planted into my braincell.

Reason : There is no urgency for the knowledge for the current being. You study something due to it is useful knowledge but it is not a must-have knowledge at the moment. The more you try to squeeze-in the more you forgotten about it. It's a time wasting idiotic assignment. It leads nothing in the end. A knowledge learnt must be take into Action to understand its power. An interesting project will make me the neccessary in watching more video tutorial for one motive behind these time consuming stages.

Low-morale or self-doubt? It doesn't means a thing cause all these questions lead to the same answer everytimes after a moment of Pauseability. -- I feel better in doing stuff that acknowledge me the idea in life creation. Doesn't care is by doing 2D or 3D stuff. But due to time constraint and speedy up the idea out of my vision. Drawing is the best tool to sketch out stuff before it fade away or even worse lazy to jot down as memory notes. It's the efficiency and low-cost production tool ever. Never worry bout getting a cutting edge to speed up rendering or multi-processing workloads to fasten up the product. Ideas came and flow quickly than you can eventually complete at once in a 3d working environment.

Every single things will connected each others for one strong reason when its the moment it arrive for such meaningful intention. So, leave it now. Things will come back as welcome & pleasure when you needed it someday. Forcible will just grows hatred and annoyed.


Always stick to the progress that comfort our delivering ideas & concepts is what the artist keep moving on and focusing at the meaning in doing Art.

3D is a great tool for one in a production teamwork. A great experience in improving the importance of lighting setup & details for audience recognition of the subjects or any single objects. The major lesson i learnt in texturing. Details is the key to clearly present an object.

My painting always got the flaw in complete as a silhouette instead of a understandable object. A little decent details is what it lack of, a necessary one.

More stuff to carry on these days instead of just plainly improving skills in painting.

Business study, life assurance, motivational, financial in-grown... Money Money is the rolling gear to keep everything move forward without depressive.

Anyway, it's a journey must step on once a while we had been landing at the same spot for such a long while. Life should be constantly welcome a new challenge else it's a lifeless robot with the repetitive feeding braincell... Comfort zone is the worst enemies to the human being.

Planning for own career is a brave act and most people not going to do it. It shows weakness from yourself and it attracts criticsm & tease from the surrounding. Not many could success in pursue their dream. Life is not all bout the final point of successful sometimes. You don't get success doesn't mean it's a failure in a total loss.

Consider it as part of the journey on a rainbow bridge to the end of your life. You wouldn't want to step on a black/white bridge to get into the end of the bridge, right?!

Now, i gotta survive and live for my own. Mentality grows efficiency in this way instead of someone showing me the lesson of life in their absolutely Right perceptions. Learn it your own way and make changes to see the glimpse of light in further and feel the shine on you. Stay there and dwells back what were left behind just sorrow and unfortunate stories. Happy memories stay and live only partly but the portion are the one which make oneself appreciate the Life is not a sour at all.

It's another life for one to each other.

Step on.

and just take a break whenever the clock needle tickling at the same position for too long.
Even the clock battery will gone in one day that you wouldn't expect.

Recharge & resurrection from the checkpoint!

I Rest but I won't quit.






Black Blood, 1hour++ PSD.


p/s: Watched Eden Lake again yesterday, the impact and anxious in this movie never ceased to impress me. Black Blood means Hell is around the corner..

16 July 2011 - Keep Alive

Since last post was June 2009, i am coming back for the sketching routines once again. Gotta foster the right mindset and serious attitude in drawing as an artist.



Luckily to revive the password for this long-gone blogspot that i rarely maintained since the last visit.

That's all for tonight.

One wisdom word from Jason Manley

first, you are not trapped in your situation. You can get out of any situation you want if you are willing to take the pain of doing all the things you dont want to do..the long hard way. The fruitful way.

At seventeen I was homeless and orphaned, taking care of my fourteen year old brother who I somehow managed to keep in school. I had dropped out of school. I did two years of wasting time eventually trying to get my head on straight. At nineteen I was homeless again. Scraped together enough money to get my ass to arizona to study art. Got a temp apt to get me through to the end of the month and took a job at subway (applied all over til I found something). The subway job paid enough money to sometimes eat and pay my small studio rental. I went back to school to get my graduation and was working full time (thought I needed to graduate from HS to get into a good college). Trust me...it was fucking painful. I transferred to a community college the following year and slowly got better and better jobs. Worked telemarketing fundraising to afford a 1977 datsun and art supplies. Shittiest job ever but paid double what subway did. Worked three jobs during the summer to get caught up including going to alaska to work the salmon docks across the country. I did not give a shit what it was, if it paid for my goals to be met and didnt involve anything illegal, I did it.

As time went on I realized I needed to arrange my priorities again. I took a night time job so I could exhaust all my energies in my art and studies. Eventually got a job at AT&T...Att this is Jason how may I help you?...I was still far behind those who had life handed to them their whole life. However, I was catching up. In time I realized it was not a chase against others but to only my own race to my goals. Kept the nose down. Chose friends who worked on art or learning always. Ignored the time wasting folk who never will amount to anything other than regular. Grew up around enough of those to realize the difference. After three and a half years I took my first art job and quit my shit job...have lived with and from art ever since.

By the time I was 29 I had achieved every goal I had reached for when I first set out. That is when I realized it was time to set new goals...each time this happens it feels like starting over...get something done..start again...in time your life becomes what you want it to be. Even those of money have to do this if their life involves learning, skill, and growth. It is not money that holds people back...is just their own mind.

The hard part about certain situations is not everyone is told they can do and reach their goals if they just work their ass off starting RIGHT NOW. Some know it and wont work for whatever reason. They listen to that voice that says I want to chill and watch tv or i dont feel like it. Others have addictions or mental issues keeping them from growing and learning. I didnt want to be any of that. I wanted to do cool stuff...to have an interesting life...and to work in a creative way.

Hard manual labor growing up taught me that my mind would rot if I chose that kind of path. I wanted something to use my mind. Bored if not...and with boredom comes making trouble or distraction. Gotta turn that into work ethic...no choice. Carl Dobsky was telling me this about the atelier every day. It has to be just uncomfortable enough to make the coolest thing to do be art. If there is a blaring tv or anything else, than there are other options. Options that keep one from not working to reach their goals.

Complacency is the womb of mediocrity. You clearly are not complacent. So do something about it in every free second of your day. All this wandering around doing not a whole lot but thinking isn't getting you much done. It is however, giving you a taste of life many others would never have the guts to explore. Just dont stay down there too long without coming up for air.



Good luck,



Jason

inside of me.

Almost half year i didn't spent my moments to update this blog. Mainly, i am not a regular blogger who have plenty of excitements in life.

Back to a normal working life is just plainly reorganize my body system to have an organized time-table.

Money is the motivation to keep me doing something that can make me feel motivated & inspired.
If i have a choice to do something in my life. I will prefer doing nothing. And plainly sleep & listening music for the rest of my life. Whatever i am doin in my entire life since to be influence & inspired by the music i passed by.

There are no closer things which can make my mind calm down to draw in concentration except music. When i say music. It is my selected music. Not the music that somebody else play for me.


Drawing is not a fully enjoyment. But it did bring some contented moment once you achieve something that out of expectation. Unfortunately, the moment only arrive very rare as I know what i want to see. It is a suffering process that only person in myself could feel the pain.

Everyday after working, i spent my time to hold the pencil and keep drawing in solitude. Practise my sense in lines & contour. Hope it can improve my digital sketching. I don't have a computer to work in my current rented room. It is indeed suffering for one who spent years to accumulate the motivation to paint in digital. Haha, i am one creature that needs lotsa reasons to decide on something. Over 6 months, i can only feel myself improve just a little. I know there is a big distance to get into the level i wanted to step into. All i need is precious time & tons of personal moment.

Yeah.. i don't need people to entertain me right now. I am hell busy as i should. Working hour takes away all my time. Whenever i having some empty slot, give me a piece of mind with silent sleep or sweet music.

Especially this career related to my entire living style & living motive.

I met this closer friend. He asked me to work hard to achieve like whoever peoples he knew surrounding him. I felt extreemely offended when people actually asking me to work hard.

In real life, peoples judging the achievement by looking at the assets that you possessed.

I am not 100% hardworking. At least i am self-initiative more than 50% to do my job. haha..why not 100%?
Yeah, i will losing my soul and offended to many peoples surrounding me.

There is a balancing measurement in life. We couldn't giving out 100% to something we love. Else, despite something else which couldn't grab it back no matter how much you given out later.

I learnt this lesson and i afraid to repeat the history.

So friends who found this message incidently here. Please don't question about my life. If you are enjoying your life. I blessing you all the time.


And don't call me out for nonsense meet-up. I rather stay home and pick up a meaningful movies to study. There are more things to study for me.

Argh...new artwork... next time or maybe not. I am not proud of them.. I am kinda stress out with no computer to draw at home still.
I just don't want to bring up my ancient AMD64 PC to rented room.


It can't even support latest games. haha...

In my new year resolution, i wish i can..
- play more games to increase my knowledge & art sense. I don't play games to kill time indeed.
- watch more movies that can stronghold my motivation to create art.
- meet more cool peoples that can eventually motivated me. I just don't like people who talk alot and work a little. I couldn't get the idea why i really try to avoid such type of peoples. Probably i afraid to revive the lazy disease in myself.
- More money.. It's true. I won't deny it. To support my family & myself. And quit spending too much concern in how to make extra income. And focusing in my CG journey.
- Healthy and contented. Why no happy? Artist can hardly feel happy most of the time. The moment we are happy is when we don't want peoples to worry about our situation. Should i say that is professional emotional management in life? Yeah, so strike back to you. No sour face to me too. I am giving you a glad smile.
- Peace in everywhere. It's tough. haha... Greed & lust inside human is always hard to forbidden.
- Lastly, i want to do something major in next year. I don't mean marriage..haha...Damn majority of my friends had been marry... Those are luxury life & a burden to my life.

I am one difficult person to cheer up..hehe.

May! I got my job... damn.. (finally...)

Lotsa sketches in May. Somehow, i only showed those which pushed me to another level.

Early May :


Middle May :


End of May :





I like the idiot Cop which only spent me little time. And Octopus was done yesterday nite. Pretty cool feeling about it. It is about composition, perspective & space utilized in a drawing.

this is the first image i done to apply these knowledge. I know it looks amateur. I won't estimate myself. Give me more time..

I got my job. I was drew crappy things everyday. I am really sux in environmental ...haha..
Again, give me more time. I am growing up in every failures.

Speed painting 45mins Tentacles+Fish+wings

sux..haa